Wednesday, May 4, 2011

New Place
Yeah, I moved.
For now I guess?
Therefore, not many posts will be here anymore.
Not that there was a lot anyway.
520TH POST :)

Monday, March 21, 2011

Today, I found out that:
1. Water really helps to calm you down
2. Punching a wall hurts, but after a while it's fine
3. Your knuckles don't bleed when you do that
4. But you get blue-blacks on them
5. I'm becoming pretty daring, in a bad way
6. Holiday Homework for 1 week can be completed in a day
7. Zombie Cafe is pretty fun
There's more to the list, I guess, but nevermind.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Hello, I'm back! :)
I've got news too.
And this time I'll be really, really honest.
Mainly because I know that no one will come and read this anymore, so this will just be some motivational thing to me.
Anyways, I've decided to become stronger.
Not physically.
Okay maybe physically would be good too.
But yes, I want to be stronger.
To such an extent whereby I'll be able to know my flaws perfectly well and be able to admit it confidently.
To such an extent whereby I'll be able to not cry.
To such an extent whereby I'll be able to have my emotions in complete control.
To such an extent whereby I'll be able to have enough courage to do many things.
Like die.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal.
It's just that, committing suicide, and still being perfectly clear in the head [to whoever is going to die anyway], really requires a lot of courage.
Just try imagining it now.
You really want to die right now, but you're not suicidal.
Try being able to walk off a building.
Or jump off, since that'll make the plunge that much more fun, and have more adrenaline coursing through you.
Or grab a knife and stab yourself.
Would you be able to do all these?
I know I sound pretty crazy right now, but seriously, I'm fine.
I'm not going to kill myself just yet, because I don't have the courage to do so.
But really, when the day comes that I'll be able to do this, will show that I finally have enough courage, and I'll have met one expectation for myself.
Oh yeah.
If I ever die one day because of suicide, just remember that it'll probably be because I'm bored of life.
I don't think I'll be committing suicide because I'm depressed or stressed.
At least, not at this current stage of my life.
Alright, back to my goal.
Since I want to become stronger, I'm going to try to train myself and keep my emotions in track first.
And slowly, I'll gain more control over it.
Once that happens, I'll start being able to work towards the courage part.
And to test out whether I do have enough courage to die, I'll try imagining everything out first.
If I can pass that stage, then I'll probably have met the expectation.
Because by then my imagination should be able to go to the extent whereby it seems perfectly real.
No, I won't die yet, sorry to disappoint those many people out there who were expecting something like that from this confession.
But once I get bored of my life, I might just do it.
Because, I've got nothing to lose.
No one will lose anything from me dying too.
The world has 6 billion other people anyway, and counting.
Me going off, won't make a difference.

Hmm okay it's time to go off.
Maybe I should start posting here more again.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

This can't be happening.
I've already studied for Biology Test.
And now the thermometer tells me that I can't go to school tomorrow?
I don't care, I'm going.
I hate retests.
I hate taking the test at odd times.
Sitting outside the staff room, or going to the library, or various study areas.
It messes up my schedule, and the classroom environment is absent.
Alright, time for Panadol.
Maybe I should take three, just in case.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

This sucks.
I can't do A Math at all, somehow.
I need to practice more.
For the first time in my life, I actually don't really get it.
And the textbook is really lousy because it hardly explains anything to me.
I feel pretty annoyed now.
Yeah, I should go search online and research more about this.

I'm getting pretty bored.

Friday, February 18, 2011

So I've just managed to finish two Common Test papers for Physics.
I'm quite proud of myself due to a few factors.
Firstly, I managed to do about 95% of the questions, on my own. As for those that I didn't know how to, I referred to the answer key.
Secondly, I managed to finish both within 80 minutes.
Thirdly, I scored 33/40 for the first one, and 34/40 for the second one.
Fourthly, all these were accomplished even though I was dead tired.
In fact, I still am.
Which is why my eyes are stinging from the long time spent forcing it open.
I feel pretty good now, that I've done all these.
Now, I just hope I can survive through tomorrow.
Not only is there an A Math Test, which I haven't studied for, shoots, it's also Triple Science Day, where we have all three Sciences.
There's PE too.
Well, at least it's a Friday.

On a side note, I really miss 2C3.
It's just been about 7 weeks, almost 8, and everyone is pretty distant from our ex-classmates.
One prime example would be how Hannah and I aren't too close anymore.
Maybe it's because we're both getting pretty busy.
Maybe it's because we haven't spent too much time together.
Whatever the reason is, I don't like it, and neither do I want it to happen.
Which is why, hopefully, we can have an outing soon.
Cross-Country is coming soon, so maybe we could all go out after that.
Alright I should suggest this to Hannah so that we can start planning again.

Okay, it's pretty late already.
Hopefully I won't fall asleep during my test tomorrow.
I suppose I should study a little for it.
Mainly on Fractions and Polynomials.

Oh yes, I almost forgot.
Today, we had SYF Auditions.
All I can say is that, I'll be pretty surprised if I do manage to get in.
Honestly, I mean it.
On the bright side, I'll be able to spend more time with the Secondary Ones, so it'll be time well spent, trying to help them improve, if need be.
Well, I guess we'll know soon, whether I spend time with the juniors, or with the Main Band.

Life is getting increasingly stressful.
But I'm getting used to it.
As long as we don't have too many things to do in one day, after a while of considerably more relaxing days.

Alright, it's really time for bed now.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

I'm still on Physics.
My productivity today isn't very good.
I can't want for Band tomorrow.
It just means that all 4 of my tests tomorrow are over.