18/5/10

Dearest ___ ___, this is for you. Like most of the others.

And so I look again.

At my contact list,
At Facebook,
At your blog,
At your pictures.

And I wonder.

Why did it become like this?
Why aren't you online?
Why aren't we as close?
Why do I still miss you?

And I can't answer.

No matter how hard I try,
To think,
To understand,
To put myself in your position,
To read you,
I can't answer.

And its the first time.

The first time I am unable to answer this question,
"What is that person thinking?"

-

It feels weird not knowing someone's thoughts -
Sometimes right,
Sometimes wrong -
As long as I have a rough idea.

But I can't understand yours.
At all.
You're so hard to read.

It seems as though there's a barrier between us,
Not letting me pass through,
Not letting me understand your thoughts.
However, others seem to pass through.

Only I can't.

What is it that I am not doing,
To make me unable to pass through it?

I hope I find the answer to this question,
So that I can find the answer to another question,
In order to clear my thoughts,
And let go...

If you see this, please don't talk about it.
I want it to remain unknown.
Thank you.

I miss you, ___ ___.
You said that it would pass on to someone else.
But I don't think it will be anytime soon.
I want to let go...

...But what if I can't?