I've been pretty tired of late.
Maybe it's just due to the post CNY thing.
Then again, before CNY, it was kind of like this already.
Maybe I'm just getting old.
Well, we are growing older by every second.
Or maybe it's just one of those phases once again.
I suppose it's probably because I'm getting pretty tired of my life.
Honestly, I don't know if I'm feeling that way.
It's pretty weird.
Well, one good thing about being tired like this is that I tend to think more.
No, I think all the time, but not about weird stuff.
When I'm tired I tend to think of weird stuff.
Like how I thought about what would happen if I died, just now.
It'll be pretty interesting to see what happens in life when you're gone.
Hopefully when I die, I'll get to see at least my funeral.
I also thought about what would happen if other people died.
For example, if my Grandmother, from my Dad's side, died, I'd be really depressed.
It might just change my life drastically too.
Well, not might. It will.
Then I started thinking about how our lives in Singapore is pretty mundane.
Now, we just go to school.
Our whole life revolves around school.
Once we graduate from school, we'll be going on to work.
And then our whole life will revolve around it.
By the time we're released from the clutches of the working world, we're old and we can't enjoy life like we used to 50 years back.
It's pretty sad, actually.
Oh well.
I guess this is just how we're supposed to lead our lives.
Moving on, I don't think I'll make a good psychologist in future.
I'm not even in a pretty stable state of mind, and yet I have to help those who are just like me, in terms of the stability of our minds.
So I guess I should just end up as something else.
I read somewhere that everyone was born to do something, be it business person, astronaut, clerk or cleaner.
Maybe some of us are born to be villains, robbers, murderers and so on.
Although I think it's more of whether we chose to be that or not.
For example, robbers could probably be really good policemen, since they're so silent and sneaky and stuff.
And if you put that in a good connotation, you get a pretty good cop for breaking in and finding out stuff.
Maybe a spy.
Murderers, maybe you can hunt down wanted people.
I don't know.
But anyway, I think some of us are born to just be underdogs.
After all, for white to look bright, there needs to be black.
So, maybe, some of us were just born to make others shine.
Maybe that's how it is in life.
Maybe, before we actually become a zygote, we actually have some lucky draw to see what we'll be.
And then all of those gets wiped out from our memory when we become conscious.
Maybe that's why sometimes we have instincts, hunches, deja vus and such.
But this is just my way of thinking, something I derived from after learning bits and parts of people's beliefs.
Everyone has their own way of thinking.
Maybe all these is different for all of us.
Maybe before and after your life there's nothing at all.
I suppose this just seems to be telling me that Science doesn't give the answers to everything in life.
Which is true, of course.
For now.
Well this has been pretty long, and I'm tired.
I need to do my homework too, and the earliest I can sleep tonight is 11.30, since I need to check me email and stuff.
Once I stop becoming a Junior Leader, I think I'll be pretty happy.
But, as usual, I don't want that time to come because of the Sec 4s.
Maybe next year I'll be feeling the same, just that instead, I'll be the Sec 4.
Oh well, I guess I just have to wait and see.
Time will pass at the same rate no matter what anyway, so no matter what, the time will come, no matter how much we don't want it to come.
I guess we don't have much of a choice, anyhow.
Ah, I feel weird.
Maybe I just won't wake up from my sleep tonight.
Spending my whole life dreaming, and not being aware that I'm dreaming, would be quite blissful.
Ignorance is bliss, after all.
Maybe my life right now is just part of a dream, and maybe I'll wake up one day, to find that I'm only a small kid.
Or maybe it's my pre-born stage now, and we get to see how our life goes first, and then when we're born our memory gets reset,
Well, I won't know, since it might have happened to me already, but I can't remember.
Ah, time to do work.
Maybe it's just due to the post CNY thing.
Then again, before CNY, it was kind of like this already.
Maybe I'm just getting old.
Well, we are growing older by every second.
Or maybe it's just one of those phases once again.
I suppose it's probably because I'm getting pretty tired of my life.
Honestly, I don't know if I'm feeling that way.
It's pretty weird.
Well, one good thing about being tired like this is that I tend to think more.
No, I think all the time, but not about weird stuff.
When I'm tired I tend to think of weird stuff.
Like how I thought about what would happen if I died, just now.
It'll be pretty interesting to see what happens in life when you're gone.
Hopefully when I die, I'll get to see at least my funeral.
I also thought about what would happen if other people died.
For example, if my Grandmother, from my Dad's side, died, I'd be really depressed.
It might just change my life drastically too.
Well, not might. It will.
Then I started thinking about how our lives in Singapore is pretty mundane.
Now, we just go to school.
Our whole life revolves around school.
Once we graduate from school, we'll be going on to work.
And then our whole life will revolve around it.
By the time we're released from the clutches of the working world, we're old and we can't enjoy life like we used to 50 years back.
It's pretty sad, actually.
Oh well.
I guess this is just how we're supposed to lead our lives.
Moving on, I don't think I'll make a good psychologist in future.
I'm not even in a pretty stable state of mind, and yet I have to help those who are just like me, in terms of the stability of our minds.
So I guess I should just end up as something else.
I read somewhere that everyone was born to do something, be it business person, astronaut, clerk or cleaner.
Maybe some of us are born to be villains, robbers, murderers and so on.
Although I think it's more of whether we chose to be that or not.
For example, robbers could probably be really good policemen, since they're so silent and sneaky and stuff.
And if you put that in a good connotation, you get a pretty good cop for breaking in and finding out stuff.
Maybe a spy.
Murderers, maybe you can hunt down wanted people.
I don't know.
But anyway, I think some of us are born to just be underdogs.
After all, for white to look bright, there needs to be black.
So, maybe, some of us were just born to make others shine.
Maybe that's how it is in life.
Maybe, before we actually become a zygote, we actually have some lucky draw to see what we'll be.
And then all of those gets wiped out from our memory when we become conscious.
Maybe that's why sometimes we have instincts, hunches, deja vus and such.
But this is just my way of thinking, something I derived from after learning bits and parts of people's beliefs.
Everyone has their own way of thinking.
Maybe all these is different for all of us.
Maybe before and after your life there's nothing at all.
I suppose this just seems to be telling me that Science doesn't give the answers to everything in life.
Which is true, of course.
For now.
Well this has been pretty long, and I'm tired.
I need to do my homework too, and the earliest I can sleep tonight is 11.30, since I need to check me email and stuff.
Once I stop becoming a Junior Leader, I think I'll be pretty happy.
But, as usual, I don't want that time to come because of the Sec 4s.
Maybe next year I'll be feeling the same, just that instead, I'll be the Sec 4.
Oh well, I guess I just have to wait and see.
Time will pass at the same rate no matter what anyway, so no matter what, the time will come, no matter how much we don't want it to come.
I guess we don't have much of a choice, anyhow.
Ah, I feel weird.
Maybe I just won't wake up from my sleep tonight.
Spending my whole life dreaming, and not being aware that I'm dreaming, would be quite blissful.
Ignorance is bliss, after all.
Maybe my life right now is just part of a dream, and maybe I'll wake up one day, to find that I'm only a small kid.
Or maybe it's my pre-born stage now, and we get to see how our life goes first, and then when we're born our memory gets reset,
Well, I won't know, since it might have happened to me already, but I can't remember.
Ah, time to do work.
at
8:43 PM
